Am I a tool guy? Evidence for and against.
For: I built an eight-and-a-half-foot-tall deck off the back of my house. I now catch myself looking at power tools at my local Home Depot just because and wonder why I’m doing it and why I enjoy it so much.
Against: I don’t have an opinion on whether Dewalt tools are better than Milwaukee ones. I didn’t know what a reciprocating saw or a joist was until about six months ago when I built the aforementioned deck.
For: Tool guys tend to ramble. I now feel the compulsion to tell you about this deck, how first I demolished a forty-year-old deck of the same height, then designed a new deck, ordered the lumber, and built it with much help from a knowledgeable friend and my father-in-law. That included digging a bunch of holes down to the frost line, lugging 6×6 support posts into those holes, lifting up the beams on top of the posts, putting the joists on top of those beams, adding railing posts and blocking and joist tape, then putting decking on the joists, then putting on the rest of the railing, and building the stairs somewhere in there too. This included hours of measuring wood and then cutting, nailing, and staining it. At some points I enjoyed the process.
Against: At many points I hated the process. I’m pretty sure the deck was largely responsible for a three-month stint of acid reflux.
For: In addition to the deck, I’ve caulked windows, built a retaining wall, tried my best to grind cement down to grade, and placed enough click-lock vinyl plank flooring to last me a lifetime.
Against: In all the above projects, the result was fairly crappy albeit functional.
For: A quote from a coworker — “Gordon, you’re always building something.” A quote from my neighbor (being very impressed) when introducing me to one of his friends — “Yeah, Gordon built that deck that you can see over there.”
Against: I just asked my wife and she said I’m not a tool guy. She said its a spectrum and I’m closer to the tool guy side than I was three years ago, but I’m still not one yet.
For: I’ve accumulated an assembly of saws and drills and bits and screwdrivers. Extension cords and every possible type of nail and screw it seems. I am afraid to throw many of these away lest I need them again.
Against: I have something like $100 in Home Depot store credit and don’t have anything I really feel the need to spend it on.
For: When I pass a man in Home Depot staring at a shelf and scratching his chin in thought, I have a compulsion to ask “Whatcha workin’ on?”
Against: I have never actually talked to a stranger in the above scenario.
For: Being a tool guy is perhaps not something you choose nor does it actually have anything to do with desire. A lot of today’s tool guys were like me two decades ago. They didn’t just come out of the womb knowing how to run wiring for a generator inlet box but learned that over many years. Even for the best of them, there’s still quite a lot of problem solving in the moment as they try to wire a ceiling fan. If you were to ask some of the men I think of as tool guys, they – like most people — would say having something break and needing to fix it is a huge annoyance.
Against: I wish I never had to build another thing in my life.
Verdict: Like many arguments, it comes down to the definition. Does being a tool guy mean that you have and use tools, or does it mean that you enjoy having and using tools?
A quick perusal of search results for “tool guy” indicates that a general enjoyment for tools and their use is a prerequisite to getting the Tool Guy title. Anecdotally, I confirm this definition, as the people I deem as tool guys seek out opportunities to turn on their circular saws, and I do not do that.
All said, I am not yet a tool guy.
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